Broken Truth
by JuubiOokami
Summary: Sequel to 'Beautiful Hands'. When Naruto finds out about a death and his unspoke past he refuses to beleive it's true. Leaving the village Naruto sets out to find the truth once and for allSuck at summaries Manga Spoilers. Selfharm, angst and action!
1. Incurable Pain

**Hello my fellow friends! Glad to see you've picked this up! This is my sequel to 'Beautiful Hands' but it is a little bit different. I would suggest reading Beautiful hands before you read this (It's only a short One-shot, but it explains quite a lot in the story soo…)**

**Ok! Just a quick notice!**

"blah"- Normal speech

'_blah'- Thought._

'**blah' – Kyubii speech**

'_**blah'- Kyubii thought**_

**Any way! Here goes! Enjoy!**

**-**

Naruto dragged his feet up the stairs one by one. Opening the door to his abandoned flat he walked across the room. Pausing only to caress the top of his piano he moved forward collapsed onto his bed and smiled into his pillow.

"Sasuke-Teme…good to still see you alive a kicking…" he muttered before closing his eyes.

-Flashback-

"_You…" Sasuke's eyes lit up as they came to rest on Team 7. _

_Naruto stared as Sasuke's other team members landed beside him at the ready, "O great, the Leaf nin Calvary have arrived, no big deal, we can take them down easily." Said one who smiled, managing to look remarkably like Kisame and Zabuza at the same time, the said gripped his sword._

"_No, not this time. don't harm these people." Sasuke said in his usual monotone. His eyes casting over the rookie nine and his past sensei. "they're not our enemies today." _

"_Damn Leaf ninja, you're to soft." The shark boy whimpered again and glared happily at the Orange clad ninja who was gripping his Kunai to tightly in his hand it would later leave burn marks._

"_Hey, didn't we bump into your shadow clone earlier?" the tall one with sandy hair asked quietly from behind._

_Naruto gritted his teeth, "Where are you going Sasuke…?"_

_Sasuke paused, turned around, and next thing he was directly beside Ninja. "I just managed to injure my brother, but he escaped when the other Akatsuki attacked. Thanks' too your careless mistake I am now outside Konaha grounds, and I plan on staying out." He whispered into the boy's ear, "I am going to kill Itachi, I'm going after him right now, and when I have done that, I'm going to come after you." He pulled back and Black eyes connected with Sea blue ones. "We haven't finished that battle that we started oh so long ago. So stop chasing after me Naruto, and train. I don't want to come all the way back to Konaha to be disappointed in you. Got it, idiot?"_

"_Teme, I'll kick your ass now." Naruto growled._

"_I don't have time to play games with you lot now." He jumped back and looked over Sakura who was staring up at him with large green eyes._

"_Sasuke-kun…" she breathed._

"_If Naruto disappoints me I may come after you as well, Sakura, and you too copying nin; Kakashi." He looked away, "so hurry up and train so that I won't get bored, and don't chaise after me, it's a waist of time."_

_With that he had turned, and Naruto remained stood with a grin on his face. "you better hold you're promise teme!" he shouted at the boys back, and Sasuke merely waved slightly before disappearing off into the distance._

-End Flashback-

Naruto closed his eyes and smiling he fell asleep.

For the first time in months he felt a tiny trickle of more then just hope, sheer happiness.

The beautiful rest however was broken when a pounding on the door alerted him that something was gravely wrong, sitting bolt upright he hurried to the door, and to what he recognized to be Sakura's urgent nocks.

"Naruto! Quick!" she stood breathing in quickly and deeply, staring at the boy who looked back with sleep ridden eyes.

"What? What is it?" he asked.

"It's Tsunade! You have to hurry! You're the only one who can talk to her now! Hurry!"

Naruto jumped into action immediately at the mention of something being wrong with Tsunade. "Hang on! I'm coming!" he grabbed his sandals and was after his pink haired friend within the instant.

-

He could hear her heart drenching crying from outside the door.

Quite a large member of people had gathered outside the door of the Hokage's room, but no one could enter as the door was firmly locked, and the Hokage had threatened to beat anybody who came in.

Despite Tsunade's large reputation of being able to smash anything, and doing it whenever her temper rose, most people knew that she only really did it when she was very very angry or very upset; considering the sobs that were being emitted from the room everybody guessed that it was the latter.

"She's not letting anyone in?" Naruto asked, "What the hell is going on?"

"We don't know Naruto."

"So how do you expect me to help then?" Naruto seethed, "I'm going in there."

"No! No you can't!" Shizune looked so unhappy that Naruto felt his heart pang, but he didn't let it show.

"She's Hokage, she needs to get a grip and tell us what's wrong."

"Naruto, the door's locked." Sakura sighed, "how the hell do you suppose you should get in?"

Naruto thought for a moment and then grinned, "that Damn Mizuki certainly did have his uses." He turned and ran out of the corridor that everybody was standing in.

Stopping Naruto looked around checking for anybody, before jumping up and crawling up the wall with his Chakra until he was at the ceiling. He paused and took two steps to the left until he was directly under a picture of the Third hokage. Taking a deep breath he took long stride and counted.

"One, Two, Three, Four, Five…ok, this should be it." He stopped and hunched up, his hair sticking own as Gravity tried to pull him back down, but his feet refused. Tapping against one of the tiles on the ceiling he pushed against it and slipped it open.

"He he, this is how I snuck in that time I stole the forbidden scroll." He muttered as he pulled himself through the little gap and crawled along the empty roof. Finding the vent he was after he slipped it open with a slim finger, and swung his way into the weeping Hokage's office.

Landing soundlessly he steadly walked toward her crying form.

Tsunade was hunched on the one of the sofa's, head in hands, crying loudly with a bottle of Sake at the side.

Naruto felt his heart jam to see her so terribly unhappy. Shaking his head he laid a hand on her back.

"Baa-…Tsunade…"

She raised her head sharply and stared at him, "Minato?" she asked her golden eyes wide with shock.

Naruto taken aback decided to not show, "Honestly Baa-chan, snap out of it you drunk, you're meant to be Hokage, get a back bone." He took the bottle and moved it out of her reach.

"Naruto…?" she sniffed staring at him, "I'm sorry…it's just…you look so much like him." she placed her head into her hands.

Naruto itched with curiosity, "Who? Who's Minato?"

"he trained you both, I just…forgot for a moment…I'm sorry."

"Baa-Chan, you're drunk." Naruto sighed and sat cross legged on the low table in-front of her, his eyes curious.

"I want to die…"

"what are you talking about?"

"I'm the worse person in the world." She cried, "I let my Sensei die, I let my brother die, I watched as my team mate betrayed and left me, I watched as one of my closest friends, and a boy I thought of as a son die to save his village, I let my first love die…and now…" she gripped her hair tightly in her hands, "and now I let my only other love die! My best friend, my team mate…and I was too weak to protect him."

"Tsunade…" Naruto was seriously starting to freak out.

"Naruto, do you know who named you? Do you know who you're parents let name you?"

Naruto's jerked a nod, terrified to speak, and shocked as the words spilt out of the Godaime's mouth.

"you're father…sniff, he was trained by Jiriaya, he was his favourite pupil."

"Jiriaya's favourite pupil was the Fourth…!" Naruto felt his voice catch in his through.

"You look so much like him,…so much like Namikaze Minato, the fourth Hokage…oh how much it must of hurt Jiriaya and also given him so much pleasure to teach you…"

Naruto was finding it very hard breath. In fact he felt more then a little faint, was the woman just babbling drunken nonsense…or was his father…the fourth Hokage? And what was she getting too?

"You're mother Kushina read Jiriaya's book, and loved what he named the main character. They wanted to raise you as a child like the man in the book. The Man Jiriaya called Naruto."

"Ji…Jiraiaya….named me? Tsunade! What the hell are you talking about! What's this about the fourth, and who the hell is Kushina!?" Naruto leapt as Tsunade moved forward. He didn't want to be near her, he was suddenly afraid of the truth.

"Namikaze Minato, the fourth Hokage, and Uzumaki Kushina are you're parents, and Jiriaya is you're God father! Get it! He named you! He protected you! He was always there for you! He LOVED YOU!"

Naruto stared awestruck at the woman, "Tsunade…what are you sating…why…why are you using the past tense? This is…to much…uh….Tsunade what the hell are you talking about!" Naruto grabbed her by the front of her jacket as he felt tears springing to his eyes.

In his heart he knew, despite how much his voice was pleading.

"Jiriaya snuck into Akatsuki quarters…and tried to take down the leader Pein…and he…and he…" Tsunade's voice was lost in a howl of grief.

Suddenly a small frog appeared from behind Tsunade, "Uzumaki Naruto, Jiriaya had a message for you…a dying message."

"..a…dying…message…" Naruto chocked out each word.

"yes…" the frog looked down, "When I left him…he wanted me to tell you…." The Frog took a deep breath, "Never give up."

Naruto felt his legs give way as he fell to the floor, "Ero…sennin…is dead?"

The silence was only broken by the broken tears of the hokage as she hugged herself.

Naruto felt his world shattering, he felt his heart go up a notch. Getting up he stumbled back, and fell right up against the locked door which broke down and allowed him to spill into the corridor.

"No…no way…" he said gripping his fists as he stared directly forward at Tsunade who had her face buried in her knee's, "No way…it's a lie…there is NO WAY!" he scrabled back and forced himself to his feet, "It's a lie! He can't be! NO WAY IN HELL CAN HE BE DEAD! YOU'RE WRONG!" He screamed at the woman and the frog that were staring at him from the sofa.

But he didn't see them, he didn't see the people around him as they stared at him confusedly, "Naruto…what are…"

"What's going on…"

"Why…?"

Everything was a black void, it was all so incredibly unreal that Naruto couldn't even grasp the feeling in any of his limbs.

Finally he broke away from them, and turning he ran. He ran as fast away as possible, shouting, screaming, he wasn't sure if he was doing that.

The world had stopped spinning, the wind had stopped blowing, everything was wrong. night was day, nothing made sense, nothing was real.

Naruto tore through his door, and slammed it shut. He stood, panting, stood in the complete and utter darkness of his home. Then he had ripped of his jacket and was at the piano. Forcing the lid open he crashed his hands against the keys.

Everything was all to much. It was all to much information to take.

His father was the fourth Hokage…Namikaze Minato.

'_Jiriaya was dead…'_

His mother was a woman called Uzumaki Kushina.

'_Jiriaya was dead..'_

His own father sealed a fox into him at birth.

'_Jiriaya was dead.'_

His father was dead.

'_Jiriaya was dead'_

Had everything he'd always been told been a lie? Was his life that meaningless?

'_Jiriaya…is….DEAD!'_

Naruto howled as his hands thundered down on the keys with a great urgency.

'_heal me…heal me…HEAL ME DAMMIT! HEAL ME! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! GOD DAMMIT JIRIAYA! HOW COULD YOU SO THIS TO ME!'_

It wasn't working, the music was making him feel better, it wasn't making him feel better at all!

His fingers began to bleed with an utmost urgency as he pulled his hands away and began to smash everything in sight. He broke all of the windows, he threw over the table, and destroyed everything.

How could they all? How could they all lie to him like that! HOW COULD THEY!"

'_Never give up.'_

Naruto sank to his knees, how could Jiraya say that to him…when he had given up any died…how…could he…

Naruto scratched at the ground, leaving trails of blood marks against the floor from his bleeding hands that still had glass bit's stuck from when he had put his hand through the window.

He gripped his fists into tiny balls and roared in horror and grief.

Something inside of him opened his eyes, and begged him to be let out.

'**Take my power…destroy them. you are NOTHING without me! Take Revenge! TAKE IT!'**

Naruto screamed in pain, and smacked his own head against the glass littered floor as if trying to now himself to his senses.

The Orange chakra that had been threatening to leek resided back into his body as he fell to the floor in a heap of exhaustion, pain and grief, and quietly lay sobbing there.

"This is to much for me to take…" he gripped his stomach and cried again until he felt dizzy to the head and had to close his eyes in pain.

Then he got up slowly, stumbled to his piano, sat down and played, and played and played.

Because Uzumaki Naruto couldn't do anything else at that point in time.

He was unconscious.

**Sooo! What you think! Hope you liked! I'll get the next chappie up soon! So please review what you thought!**


	2. Deep Feelings

**Hello People! Glad to see that there are a lot of readers who are enjoying this fanfic…but can I ask, PLEASE review.**

**It's not only good for me if I know where I can do better, but it also makes me feel better about my work! ******

**So please, just pop in a quick one, it can be insults for all I care (Well, no I do care, if it's not constructive criticism I may cry)**

**Any woo! On with the story then!**

Tsunade sighed and pressed her palms into her eyes sockets again, letting out an exhausted yawn and miserably glaring at the table.

Kakashi stared at her along with Sakura who was nervously brushing her fingers along her arm. Finally the Godaime looked up at them both with eyes that were still puffy and red.

"I'm sorry about my behavior earlier on. Incidentally that is why I had the door locked so that no one who have to be subjected to it. Unfortunately the one person who I wanted least to find out this way…was the one who did." Tsunade gripper he hands, "it would have been better if you had never gone to get him, Sakura."

"I'm sorry Shishou, but I was worried about you." The girl bowed sadly.

"It's not your fault, he was going to have to find out. But things have been set into motion far to quickly." The Hokage leaned back into her seat, "you two by now undoubtedly know what happened."

"Jiriaya-Sama…passed away." Sakura whispered.

Tsunade just nodded her head, curtly and military like, but the pain was clear in her eyes. "the way I told Naruto wasn't…very well done, and unfortunately, I also let out a lot of things that he probably wasn't ready for."

"Not ready for?" Kakashi asked, hiding his concern under his usual calm voice.

"His family heritage, Kakashi you should know all about it, right?"

Kakashi bowed his head, "Yes, I do."

"Naruto's…parents? Is that what you mean?" Sakura couldn't keep the curiosity out of her voice.

"Correct. I was planning on breaking it all to him when he was older, and certainly not in this fashion…but, what has happened had happened. I need to talk things over with him now. Where is he? The last I saw of him was when I was on a drunken rampage."

"We're not sure, he ran off directly after he heard the news."

"And none of you thought to follow him!?" Tsunade sat straight, "When he was clearly upset!? And you let him go?"

"Someone did attempt to follow him, however he outran them. his speed…has increased an incredible amount." Kakashi spoke to sooth out the distressed woman. "I can, however, tell you, that I think he went back to his flat, and that is where I am off too now. Alright?"

"Good, hurry up…and…bring him here…if need be." The two adults held eye contact with one another, a silent conversation flashing between them.

Sakura could only frown in confusion and hope vainly that her friend was alright.

Kakashi bowed his head, "I'll be off then." He paused briefly and tugged Sakura's shoulder so that she was leaning into him, before whispering to her, "I probably don't need to tell you this, but don't ask Naruto any questions when I get back with him…if I do. Just be there for him, he'll appreciate that."

"Of course Sensei, I'm not an idiot." Sakura huffed.

Kakashi smiled, "I know you're not….just wanted to make sure. Take care of Tsunade-Sama while we're gone, she and Jiriaya despite it all were very close, kay?"

"Don't worry…I will." Sakura bowed her head, "When I thought I was going to loose Naruto during the last mission, as well as Sasuke I…I can feel her pain."

Kakashi gripped the girls shoulder then straightened, put his hands together and disappeared into his usual puff of smoke.

-

Hatake Kakashi was worried. Infact he was more then worried when he came across Naruo's house to see every single window broken, the door looking like it was about to break in two form the force of being slammed, and blood splattered on the outside of the window sill.

Breathing in rapidly he knocked furiously on the door, "Naruto, it's me. open the door. Naruto…NARUTO!" he shouted out.

The normally calm jounin couldn't help the panic seeping through his body. If Naruto got too emotional there could have been an accident, and loosing another student….well, lets just say the idea didn't bode well.

Finally having had enough of the silence, Kakashi abruptly let himself in by breaking down the door. He could fix it later.

Then he was in the house and looking around desperately, before spotting the thing he sought.

"O Shit." He whispered, letting the curse word roll of his tongue. Swearing was rarely something he did, but in this situation it seemed appropriate.

Naruto was lying on the floor, having apparently fallen off the piano stool, and straight onto the glass covered floor. The Boy had his back to Kakashi, but Kakashi could tell he was unconscious.

All around the ground was littered in broken shards, over turned objects, and the blood of the boy who had been writhing across the floor and against the walls in sheer pain and anger.

Walking forward quickly Kakashi knelt down at Naruto's side and turned him around.

Half of the boy's side was covered in blood, and he was stuck with glass bits from every angle. His eyes were closed, and his breath was almost not there.

Kakashi immediately shook him on his uninjured arm, "Naruto? Can you hear me? Naruto? I need you to wake up. If you don't you may never. Naruto!"

The boy's blue eyes, miraculously untouched and unharmed, opened in a moment of dazed confusion before burning with sheer pain. Kakashi had to hold the body still as the boy attempted to buck and struggle as all feeling came back to me.

"ah…shit…." Naruto gasped, "…bloody…hell….gah that hurts!" his breath immediately began to quicken and become shaky as his body began to twitch, and his face and lips went blue.

"I'm going to be sick…" Naruto warned Kakashi, who helped him turn and hold his head as his yellow headed student vomited three times before being reduced to a shivering pile of sweat and clammy skin.

"Naruto, you're going into Shock, I am going to lie you down and you have to stay still and try to control your breathing." Kakashi spoke calmly hoping it would have some affect on the boy in his arms.

"Easier…said…then-ow- done." Naruto muttered as he was placed onto his bed but Kakashi, it was the only place glass free.

Kakashi ruffled his hair gently as a form of encouragement, "Think of it as Training, control is essential to becoming a good ninja."

"Training…My…Ass…" Naruto gasped as a spasm of pain washed over him and he fell back against the bed again. "Dammit…Kyubii is so ruff…." He grunted angrily.

Kakashi watched wearily as the fox's Chakra began to slowly weave its way around the boy's body and heal him slowly.

Naruto's grimace, and occasional twitch told the Copy nin that the boy wasn't having a good time of it either.

Finally all of the glass shards had been pushed out, and Kakashi who had been one by one collecting them as they came out put them in the bin and walked back to a now completely healed Naruto.

The blonde Ninja had his eyes closed and was breathing shallowly as the Scarecrow returned and sat beside him again.

"you know about it right…" Naruto finally managed to whisper, "you know that…Jiriaya…you know they say he's…de…"

"Dead, yes, Naruto I know." The silver haired man look down at his hands momentarily. Jiriaya had been his Sensei's Sensei, and the two…had always been kind to Kakashi, and had both been one of the only links to the boy Naruto could have been. It would appear however that life had a thing for Naruto, and didn't want to give him what he wanted…they weren't going to give him the family he deserved…not without Naruto being willing to fight.

"I don't believe it."

Kakashi's eyes sprung open as he looked over the blue one's that were staring angrily up at the ceiling, "I refuse to believe that Ero-Senin could have been taken down by one of the Akatsuki, I won't believe it."

"Naruto…denial isn't going to help you. You have to get up and move on, Jiriaya was a great Ninja, and he died a worthy death."

"There is no such thing as a worthy death." Naruto whispered, "Being in pain, causing pain, you can't put those in the same category as 'Worthy.' People used to believe that it was ok to beat me because I wasn't worthy enough for love. But they were wrong. I was still a human being, I may have been a brat, and I may have been the kyubii to them, but I was also a young kid. And I felt like everybody else. Kakashi-Sensei, You're Worth has nothing to do with it. No death can be worth somebody's life, no suffering can atone another's pain. No matter how great you are, or how lowly, no death is suitable, or as beautiful as life."

Kakashi blinked, when did Naruto get so deep?

"Naruto…"

"but that's not why I refuse to believe he's dead." Naruto sat up, "It's because if he was truly gone…the key to the seal would be mine by now."

"the…Key to the seal? You know about that?"

Naruto nodded, "I don't really get it yet, Ero-Sennin said he would explain it all to me one say. He also told me that if he died that key would come to me instantly, but I'm guessing that's it's been at least a couple of hours…and…no key."

"Naruto…" Kakashi wanted to tell the boy that he was just hoping a little too much, but he couldn't continue the conversation as he realized that he had felt a spark of hope himself.

Naruto looked at him before turning his body so that he was facing his now completely messed up apartment. "Jesus…" he muttered, before standing up and wobbling.

Kakashi caught him, "It probably isn't a good idea for you to be walking around yet."

"I need to clean the piano, it got blood on it, I don't want it to stain." Naruto said adamantly.

"I'll do it then, save your strength, you're going to have to go see Tsunade in a minute." Kakashi warned as he got up and went into the kitchen and looked around.

"Naruto…you know half this food has expired…and you haven't touched it."

"Ninja pills." Naruto called back.

"You can't live on Ninja pills and Ramen Naruto." Kakashi answered before grabbing a clean cloth and going out to wiping the piano.

Naruto laughed slightly as he watched his Sensei clean up after him, but Kakashi noticed that the snort had been one that showed about as much spirit and energy of a dead body.

"Naruto…do you really believe that Jiriaya could still be alive?"

"If I don't believe it what have I got left?" Naruto whispered, "Yeah, I'm sure he's still alive."

Kakashi sighed and went back to work until a question asked by his student made him freeze.

"You knew…Namikaze Minato, right?"

"Yes, he was my Sensei." Kakashi straightened his back.

"The Fourth Hokage, I've been told I am a little like him…but, from what I've read my fighting style is completely different."

"He also had wind Chakra." Kakashi offered, for once, unsure of what to say.

"Yeah…but I suppose I take more after my Mum."

Kakashi sighed once again and looked down, "you really need to talk to the Hokage about this." He said slowly.

Naruto stood and steadying himself he went over to the piano to inspect it. Running his hands along the lid he opened it and stared at the keys.

"You play like the Fourth did." The Jounin finally admitted, "I heard him play once, you're mother loved listening to him play, you're mother loved him very much."

Naruto gripped his fist, and Kakashi could see a thought cross his mind, but the blonde blue it off.

"Come on, let's go see the Godaime." Naruto breathed out and wobbled a bit again. It was clear that he was in no condition to be walking, and after loosing so much blood, and such a quick recovery Kakashi couldn't blame him.

Naruto slumped, and Kakashi chuckling almost proudly at his student's attempts, picked the boy up and put him on his back.

(Don't ask how, I have NOO idea, but he's done it before!)

Then he walked out of the house, replacing the door in it's place and bouncing off toward the Hokage's mansion.

-

When Kakashi entered with Naruto on his back, the boy's clothes ripped, and blood stained Tsunade nearly assumed the worst. Next to her Iruka and Shizune had both frozen in fear, and Sakura looked like her heart had stopped beating.

That was until the blonde picked his head up and said, "Good to see you're finally sober you drunk."

"Naruto, what the hell?!" Sakura piped and Kakashi let the boy down and steadied him.

Naruto smiled at his team mate, "I got attacked by a raccoon, don't worry, Sakura-chan, it won't be disturbing Konaha any more."

Tsunade growled, "Naruto! Now ISN'T the time to be making stupid jokes…"

Naruto turned on her immediately, "You're right! And it isn't the time to be getting drunk and emotional when your Team mate is out there somewhere probably in need of help."

Tsunade just stared at him as he gripped his fists, "I want permission to leave the village."

"What?!" the exclamation came from more then one person, the whole room went silent.

"I want to leave the village in search of Ero-Sennin." Naruto sniffed, "He is after all, one of my Teachers."

Tsunade almost screamed, "HE'S DEAD YOU IDIOT! YOU CAN'T GO AND FIND HIM!"

Naruto slammed his hands across the desk, "I'm not going to except that until I see his cold body for myself! And you had better believe it!" he said before getting up. "The key to the seal isn't in my hands yet, so I'm going to believe he is still alive. And even if he isn't, I'm going to bring his body back here, because I am not letting the Akatsuki do anything to it."

Tsunade stared at the boy's blue eyes and felt for just a moment that she was once more looking into the eye's of Minato.

"_I am going to save this village, I'll protect it, even if it costs me my life."_

"_Minato! You can't! You'll get killed!"_

_Namikaze Minato turned and looked back at Tsunade and Jiriaya as they stood looking at him. _

"_That's a risk I am willing to take…"_

Tsunade's eyes flashed back to the present and she found herself staring at the very child which sixteen years ago had been the screaming baby where the seal was placed.

"the Key?"

"Yes, the key, Ero-Sennin said it would be mine the moment he died, or when he deemed me ready to have it. So until it's in my hands, I'm going to go ahead and presume he hasn't deemed me ready."

"Naruto…" she whispered and then sat back, "Very well, I will allow you to go, we'll assemble a team shortly, and you will leave tomorrow morning."

Naruto nodded once, and then swayed on the spot, only to be caught my Kakashi, who helped him upright again.

Naruto nodded his thanks and then turning began to walk out of the office.

"wait, Naruto, about what I said earlier. I think we need to talk about it."

"My Father's dead, what's more to know?" Naruto stopped at the doorway, "And before her died he sealed into his only child a demon fox and left him alone in the world. He was a powerful man, and a good Hokage. I have a big shadow to fill, that's all there is to it."

"You're mother…"

"I don't want to know about her." Naruto's voice sounded like gravel being ground against a chalk board. And everybody in the room froze and looked at him as Naruto turned around, Iruka saw such pain in his eyes that for a minute he couldn't believe this was the same happy go lucky guy that he had once taught.

"but Naruto…you're mother Kushina, she..."

Naruto lost it completely, "You better as hell tell me she died Baa-chan! Because I won't except any other excuse! I was a new born kid! And she left me!" With one swift movement he had ripped off his jacket and everybody nearly had a heart attack. The long thin white scars that were going up his arms and wrists were millions in number.

"I was left alone in my life. Despised, hated, beaten because no one was there to protect me but myself. And If I tried to fight back they got worse, they would call me a monster. And everybody would shun me, nobody would talk to me. I was ON MY OWN DAMMIT! I made my own money! I made my own living! At the age of three I lived alone already, took care of myself, had a full time job, and had to come home everyday to a house that had been wrecked. I didn't know why! Nobody bothered to tell me why! Nobody was there to say it was alright. NOBODY RESPECTED THE FOURTHS WISHES!" Naruto hung his head, "The first time I failed the ninja academy I tried to kill myself, but when I healed miraculously I thought maybe if I had enough chakra to do that I had the potential to become a ninja. I now realize it was Kyuubii. The Second time I failed I didn't have to try to kill myself, I congratulated one of the kids in my class for passing, and was beaten so hard I thought I WAS Dead!" he went quite, " the third time…I would have really done the job, had I not been offered the scroll my Mizuki, and saved by Iruka-Sensei…When I realized that there were people…who cared, I didn't find the need to cut any more…because I found a new way of getting the pain out. For the first time I actually had a hope that I COULD become hokage, and that it wasn't just an ambition. I hoped that it didn't matter about who I was, because…people started to except me." he looked down at his hands, "When Gaara died I nearly killed myself on the spot, and when we missed Sasuke by that inch in Orochimaru's hide out I nearly died. The final straw was when I realized that Akatsuki were really after me, and that to them, and to most, I was really just a tool, and that all my life I had been treated as one. The Akatsuki want to use me as a tool to do…what ever the hell psychopaths do. Sasuke used me as a tool to test his strength. The villages used me as a tool to take there anger out on, because they had nobody to blame. I became a ninja just to have my services used and to be used solely as a tool. My Father used me as a tool to seal the fox in the first place. And My mother used me as a tool so that she could be with her darling love as long as possible and make him happy, but the moment he was gone, she dropped me as a responsibility, because I was just as tool, nothing important enough to be loved."

"Na…Naruto…"

The boy looked to the ground, "I found in the end, when I looked at myself, and realized how much grief, and unhappiness, and destruction I had caused. When I finally had a real look at my life…sometimes cutting seems to be the only way of getting the pain all out.

Ero-Sennin stopped me, he helped me, he even gave me piano music because that's the only other thing that stops me from cutting…the music." I look down to the floor, "the music that My father played, and that my mother loved listening too…because she loved him…but not enough to love me." Naruto slowly bent down and took up his jacket before looking at Tsunade, "So don't talk to me about my mother, because I just don't want to know."

With that he turned, "I'll be at the gate tomorrow, and we're going to find Ero-Sennin." Naruto stopped and looked back, this time with a visibly real grin on his face, and his eyes alight with his usual determination, "And when we bring him back, you can hit him around the so hard for making you worry, Baa-chan, after all, it gives you wrinkles, and you'll start aging like a bitch if you keep at it."

With that the blonde was gone and the rest were left in a stunned silence.

"Did he…" Sakura's eyes were full of tears.

Iruka looked to the floor, "I caught him doing it once as well, I thought it had stopped. I should have tried harder."

"It's not your fault." Tsunade sighed and looked over at Iruka, "How would you know? Naruto is severely depressed or anything like that. Because right now he has a will to live, and he believes in himself, and isn't sad the whole time." the Hokage looked down at her hands, "He's just a hell of a lot deeper then we thought he was…"

Kakashi looked after his student, "and those deep thoughts are better left forgotten."

Tsunade nodded, "Nobody talk about what has been said today to anyone, that's an order."

"Hai!" everyone agreed.

Tsunade smiled, "Besides, Naruto can't be depressed, because there is no way that someone depressed would have the power to make you believe in them…not like him…"

"Are you serious about the mission he suggested?" Iruka asked.

Tsunade nodded, "I'm afraid I am, and I'm sending all of you on it."

There was a stunned silence in the room, as Kakashi, Iruka and Sakura all looked at the Hokage before a voice spoke out, "I would like to come too."

Tsunade smiled, "Yamato, you don't have a choice either, you were being addressed any way,…you too Sai."

The two nin's stepped out of the shadow and nodded, "glad to be of service."

Tsunade smiled and nodded back, "Ok, dismissed for now. And meet at the gate tomorrow geared for a long mission. I'll give you all information at that time."

"Got it! Hokage-Sama!"

And everybody filled out of the room one by one, leaving Shizune and Tsunade side by side.

"Do you really think…that they will find…Jiriaya-Sama?" Shizune asked attentively.

Tsunade smiled, "As long as that child is on the team…" she closed her eyes as a flash of yellow hair and blue eyes crossed her mind, "…I believe they will, yes."

'…_But please…if Naruto is doing all of the saving…don't forget, that he needs saving as well…don't let him drown in the deepness of his heart…before he knows the truth.'_

-

'_Where am I…?'_

There was this pressing silence, holding against their ears.

'_am I…alive?'_

A single drop of water hitting a surface, and it echoed, and echoed…

'_did I…die?'_

Their eyes cracked open to only see darkness as it pressed down on them from all angles.

'_Where the hell am I?'_

**Woot! The end of a chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! ******** Now PLEASE! Press that review button and give a nice little message or quote! Looking forward to it!**


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